Weddings are a celebration of love, life and family. A time to honor and reflect on all the stories that came before yours. To shop for dresses with your mom, or practice dancing with your dad. All this to say, parents are a sore subject for me.

Many of you know I lost my mom in December 2025, just a few short months after Andrew and I got engaged. Many of you may not know that I also lost my dad in December 2010, when I was 13 years old.

I don't talk about my dad very much, but I did love him. What can I say? I've had 16 years to come to terms with the fact that he won't walk me down the aisle, or share in a father-daughter dance. I always took comfort in knowing my mom could walk me down the aisle instead. I took it for granted, really. She was going to live forever. She had to.

Losing my mom... some days, I feel like I'll never get over it. There were so many things I'd hoped to do with her. We were supposed to grow old together. We just ran out of time.

For as long as I can remember, I have looked at photos from my parents' wedding and dreamed of my own. They got married in a park - outside! - on Valentine's Day, 1986. They held a small reception at my grandma's house. We still have the knife set they used to cut their cake, and a guest book filled with signatures - crucial evidence that they lived, that they mattered, that they touched the lives of others.

Speaking of my grandma... she died, too. In December 2016, just before Andrew and I got together. For as long as I have been with Andrew, I have been gutted by the fact that she never got to meet him. I just know she would have loved getting to know him.

When I close my eyes, I can still hear her big, booming laugh. She was vibrant, outgoing, loved to talk and tell stories, and had a warm way of listening to others that made you feel seen and appreciated. She and Andrew have those things in common.

As I look ahead to my wedding, it's hard not to feel like my day will be incomplete. I can't not acknowledge the three gaping holes in my heart.

But, they say, it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. I am lucky to have so many wonderful memories with these three people who loved me so much. I am choosing to be grateful for how much of my life they did get to witness. I know that if there is a world beyond ours, they are watching over me everywhere I go.

As I said, weddings are a time for celebration. I intend to celebrate all the light and love Andrew has brought into my life. And I intend to celebrate it with all the people who are here, right now, tagging along on this journey that is my life.

Thank you for joining me on this ride.

All my love,

Kaitlyn